I'm Swuzelle

By Swuzze


The words that are unthinkable
The mind that remains unreadable
The dream that is unbelievable

To the truth that has fallen
To the lie that has risen
To the love that stopped evolving

Vows remain unchanged
But he is changed
Promises remain unbroken
While he remains in this poem


I don’t hate you . I’m just disappointed that you turned into everything you said  you’d never be !

I’ve seen those words bleed
When you came through the unopened door
My eyes held an urge for your need
My mind held the living ghost.

Hands that spoke the tongue of a demon
Skin that raged into purple
Dust rolled me in that tension
When you came in like a sparkle.

Lost & Lonely

If I could get that time for one more day, If I could turn back time ..


( Twice in a day but I’m sorry I just have to put it up here )

Being lonely and sitting alone, locked up in a room, crying over things you wish did not happen , is a big part of anxiety and yes, I do have that. Here I’m typing through since I do not have anyone to talk to about all these so why not here? When I sit alone sometimes ( EVERYTIME ) some very negative thoughts invade my mind and provoke me, although I’m not a negative person generally. But sometimes … it just gets too much. The burden of all these thoughts pull together and dumped at the same place again and again forms a lava which blasts out as tears, meaningful tears even if they are not shown in front of others. Tears which burn as they go down every nerve that runs through your body , damaging the co-ordination of your brain and soul.

I’ve been always a lonely kid from the very beginning. I never had siblings and wherever I moved, I found no other children of my age.. all either very elder or very younger to me. Besides, my mummy and daddy were always very busy as i grew up , in their work. They’d leave home in the morning and return only late evenings. This is why I could never actually master the ‘art’ of being comfortable around people and share all that I’ feeling. I CAN NEVER!

Well , being a teenager now I’m always being surrounded by friends in school . However , I’m always the odd one out not being able to talk up  to their levels. I just can’t talk like they do. I’m always the one keeping quiet and putting up a smile .. sitting in one corner when there’s a group talking about some random stuff.

In addition to this, I think the very thing that has lasted its effect on me is the loss of someone very VERY important in my life. It’s very hard to cope up with death for me . Something very weird and painful happens to me whenever I hear anyone, literally anyone’s death. For instance I LITERALLY sat and cried my veins out when i heard that Alan Rickman and ( recently ) Christina Grimmie died . It’s just instantaneous for me. I don’t have any control over it. The death of others scare me like there’s no tomorrow. Moreover , don’t they say that what you do not wish ever happens, happens to you the most ?  Oh yeah, I’ve been a victim of that having lost the most important person of my life . However , when this horrible event took place in my life i did not realize that, that person is this important in my life but as six bloody years passed by , trust me I’ve known this on every step I took.

Losing a person in your life is like losing a part of your own soul. Its like some one has ripped apart a part of your heart and thrown it somewhere where ashes can’t be found. This hole in the heart can never be filled  anything/ anyone else. Having cried over and over again on the same old missing thing and never being able to recover from that is like a disease which you carry throughout, as long as you’re breathing. The stain that they leave you of their love , you adore. The time that they marked as memories, you cherish. The scar they left you as they disappeared, burn the cells of your body .

Putting up a lovely smile everyday in front of people and showing off your ( fake ) beautiful life from outside doesn’t make it any better , does it?

The Sunset

Its almost impossible to watch a sunset and not dream.

Hi there,

I’m here yet again with my very second blog post. As of recent activities over the summer vacations I observed myself very keenly. I have come to a conclusion that I really really like nature and its photography. So, hereby today I’ll be taking you to a ride inside my head about SUNSETS!

One of the most beautiful thing that a person can see on earth is the phenomenon of sunset and sunrise. The red flaming sky is the new born of a new beginning which brings up new chances and opportunities everyday in everyone’s lives.

Man has invented a million of beautiful things with his knowledge and creative skills . However, he has not managed to overpower the nature. Even after the invention of lights which help get rid of darkness, man has found no way which can eliminate the need of sun everyday. After all, a bulb certainly cannot remove the darkness of the whole world but only where it is lit up.

Many people see a sunset and romanticize the most beautiful moments of their lives for their futures in front. Yes, it ought to. Sunset is the beginning of a new start, a new day, a new life. It brings darkness all over when the sun decides to fall for the day and take a nap leaving people having to get scared of the demons inside them. In contrast, darkness is the first step towards the ultimate light.

Above all, would you know what happiness would feel like without having experienced sadness and darkness in life?  Similarly, there is positive over all negativity, hope over all lost wars and courage over those demons amongst us.

I hope you like my posts.

I’ll see you again very soon.

Have a nice day. :3

Signing out


The very first post…

Forget all the things why it wont work and remember one reason why it will. :’)

Read the rest of this entry »